Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Do you think a lot of sociopaths' parents kill themselves for having brought such disgusting evil into the world? How much shame and disgust must they carry?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Why all the fuss about Trump’s policy initiatives? Isn’t he just trying to set a moral tone for the Republican Party to make America great again?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why am I always so tired and I don't eat enough?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t buy bullshit

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Have you ever forcibly sucked someone’s dick?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I am skinny, I have been doing 100 pushups a day for more than a month and am seeing very few results, everything is so unfair, I workout more than anyone I know and am still skinny, why cant I build muscle?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for traitorism

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

So who has worn a cock cage. One of my guy FWBs put one on me last Sunday and left with the keys? I was very nervous at first but have calmed down. Told me he'll unlock it tomorrow.. Let me know.

I actually pay taxes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I see through liars

What was the worst decision you ever did?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What are some common historical misconceptions?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have a reading level above third grade

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What is the most inappropriate thing your wife has done in front of you?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Have you ever heard of the god Priapus being the same as the god Phosphorus?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I can count

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can read

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes